Isn’t it ironic? We go through life always trying to be in control when in fact, we lose sight of the plot and end up in a situation whereby life controls us. I know it. I lived it.
Conversely, failed relationships, heartache, anger…I’m eternally grateful that they were and still are a part of my life. They’ve strengthened who I am inside and made me who and what I am today…nothing less than the best of what I can be and still getting better.
You get to a point whereby you realise that you’ve lost yourself somewhere along the way and for what? For the ex that screwed you over? The heartache that took you so long to overcome. I’m sorry but NONE of that is worth it. I’ve made a choice and that choice is to be 100% ME. Let my guard down but not be naïve, open my heart but not make it easy to abuse it…give love a chance without the false expectation of perfection.
It’s with that in mind that I now see that falling in and out of love/like is part of the beauty of life. I want to experience the joy and the pain, the laughter and the tears…are these not the things that make you cherish the happy moments with newfound love even more? Is it even fair to punish those that come into our lives because of the mistakes of those that left us in a world of hurt?
Between finding the ideal partner and simply just living life by taking (emotional) chances, I choose the latter for by not holding back, I open up my mind to new possibilities that I may have otherwise overlooked, new experiences that I may have otherwise deprived myself of, new memories to share with someone.
I’m done playing safe, I want the world and I want to offer it in return, I want the girl not because I need her but because I know that despite our ups and downs, likes and dislikes, there’s not a single man out there who will work harder and making her happy, even if it means screwing up along the way…after all, we do learn from our mistakes yes?
However, although I offer so much, I refuse to compromise what I am. I refuse to change who I am. I’ve always said that I would never settle for second best and as such, I want nothing less than to be accepted for what I am…the best at being me. If that’s not good enough for one, then room should be made for the one to whom the shoe fits. After all, we only live once, and life is one gift I intend to make the most of.